Biting the Hand That Feeds You!

Well dear friends and family, it was bound to happen, but I am getting ahead of myself. Have you ever made a promise and wished you hadn’t? That is what I am facing now. I decided and promised when I started writing about my cancer experience that I would be totally upfront and brutally honest about everything that happened and things I did and experienced. But something happened yesterday, and it makes me want to break my promise. I mean I really want to, but there goes any integrity I might have, out the window. However, I am caught between a rock and a hard place here. I mean if I confess what I did yesterday I think the fans that I still have will pack-up their computers, Smart Phones or whatever electronic devices you have or call them, and go away shaking their heads, but not before they make sure my blog, my emails, whatever are totally deleted from their computers in case what I have is catching. See, what I mean. If I don’t confess, my honesty comes into question, if I do confess, my sanity comes into question. Well now that I put it that way, my sanity has come into question many times before, so maybe I have nothing to lose here.

I imagine I have those of you that have read this far on the edge of your seats, wondering what in the heck could I have possibly done yesterday that would cause me so much conflict? Hey, do I know how to get you all to keep reading or what? You can’t say a lot about me, but at least you can I am, possibly, yes, no, maybe, clever? Huh? What do you think? OK, once again, I am urging you to send only helpful comments and feedback, OK? OK? Promise me, OK? Oh, well I tried, obviously blackmail is a bigger business than I thought.

OK, here goes. I actually bit my finger. I mean I bit it so hard that it still feels a little achy today and hurts while I type. I am hoping it won’t turn black and blue (does a human bite mark turn black and blue?), but thank goodness the teeth marks have faded. Now I don’t want you to give the wrong impression, because purposely biting my finger is probably a lot less upsetting, than accidentally biting my finger. Confused? Yes, so I am, but let me try to explain. I have not turned into a vampire or whatever sad creature that goes around biting other humans, specifically on the neck and in this case, if I was, that means my aim was really, really off (which means I really would need to rethink that career choice) and I bit my finger instead of biting into someone’s neck. No, no, no, that is not what happened, it is much worse than that. I accidentally bit my own finger. I mean, if I had eaten some poison potion and couldn’t help myself that would be bad enough, but my gosh, I did it accidentally.

This is where it gets really embarrassing (I can imagine you are thinking right now, ‘more embarrassing, I don’t think so’, but just wait!). As usual in my ‘haste’ to eat everything in sight, well not everything, just some of my favorites, I was shoving food in my mouth (and this is where the complete honesty stops, because unless you pay me large sums of money, I won’t tell you what was so delicious that I had to eat it so recklessly.) bit down rather aggressively, and yes, completely forgot one of my fingers was still in the act of ‘shoving’ and was in my mouth, having not made its exit yet. All I can is WOW oh WOW! It hurt bad, really bad, Paw! The pain brought tears to my eyes, and I think I also got a little dizzy. OMG, OMG!

Well I am sure you are sitting there asking, “How in the world Michelle did this happen?” Well, I don’t know (stop laughing, because I know you are sitting there all high and mighty thinking you know the ’cause’, but never thought almost biting off my finger was a symptom….. think about that for a minute!). Seriously it happened so fast; shoving, chomping, biting, pain, tears, anger, you know a whole myriad of emotions, and no, I have never done this before, I mean it, I never have accidentally almost, could have possibly, bit off the tip of my finger before. So I was at a lost, of almost the tip of my finger, and any useful thoughts at the moment which might have given me insight into this weird thing that had just happened. After I calmed down, ran my finger under cold water (I mean what is the first aid procedure for almost biting off the tip of your finger accidentally? I got nothing here!) My next thought was, ‘have I had my all of my shots?’ I mean dogs have to have shots, we humans need some kind of shots. I think it is called a tetanus shot? Maybe? Then of course I thought about my suppressed immune system and what an injury caused by a mouth, which I found out today, is another depository for millions and millions of bacteria, would mean in turns of a possible infection. Just think about that conversation. “Yes, Doctor No Name, I think I have an infection in my finger. Why, well it is red, swollen and throbbing and has bite marks on it. What was that? Did my dog or cat bite me? No, no, no that wasn’t it, no, please no, don’t call animal control. Please don’t. Yes, I do know who bit my finger. No it wasn’t a crazy passion/love situation with a pervert, no that wasn’t it, no. I bit my finger. Yes you heard right, I bit it. What was that? You want to know what I was doing that caused me to bite my finger? Well, just the usual, I was eating with my fingers, got a little over zealous and bit my finger. Yes I bit it pretty hard, you know nothing unusual.”

Yea, you could bet after that conversation, some people would be knocking on my door to take my dog to some safe haven to protect her from ……..you guessed it, me! Oh, the shame of it. After this happened, and I was trying to quell my own fears of how and why I get myself into situations like this, I thought about the two demon possessed men that came to Jesus for healing and deliverance in Matthew 8: 28-33. I am in no way saying I am demon possessed, but so many of us, myself included, need deliverance from something; TV, alcohol, drugs, overspending, over eating, and the list goes on. So much of the New Testament is about how Jesus not only healed, but delivered many people from strongholds they had been dealing with all of their lives, like us, but there is just so much more that can ‘snag’ us these days. Jesus didn’t get excited when the two men came to Him for help. He knew exactly what to do and when asked, “Jesus said, ‘GO!’ and they came out and went into the pigs and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water.” Jesus always has the answer, the solution because He is the answer, the solution. All we have to do is ask Him for help and He will give us breakthrough from whatever is ‘possessing’ us, taking our time, resources that shouldn’t. Taking our time and resources from Him. He never asks why, how, or when. He just gives you the answer, the solution and His love. And the peace you receive in return, ‘is a peace that passes all understanding.’

So no matter what crazy thing I might do, because of some crazy thing I have or have done, Jesus will never leave me. Never gives up on me. He won’t give me one chance, fifty chances. He is a God of unlimited chances and unlimited love. And while we may feel we are sinful, crazy and want to jump off a cliff, He always has a substitute, for us, for our sin, and that substitute was and is Him. No matter what we do, what ‘fix’ we find ourselves in, there is always an answer and the answer is always Him.

Just be careful of what you may be trying to eat!

Much Love, Many Blessings and Shalom,
The Almost Fingerless Wonder!

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Yuck, Yuck and More Yuck!

I know, I know, you have been wondering where I have been. Well, I will tell you. Once again, in the interest of telling the whole truth, and nothing but the truth regarding my cancer experience, I will be brutally honest. I have been hiding under a rock! Yea, I know, it doesn’t sound like the truth, but it is. I have been hiding under a rock. It is cool, dark, and no one bothers to come look for you, so……. Hah! I am making this up, I mean really, what rock would I fit under? I mean I still haven’t lost any weight, after four chemo sessions! It would have to be a huge boulder, with a pretty deep hole under it, and it would have to have room for my chair and my …..wait a minute, wait a minute, once again where was I going with that? Warning, warning chemo brain! (Gosh, I won’t be able to use that excuse anymore because I have had my last chemo! Yea, man, yea, man!) But hang in there I do have a point to this tale (especially since I am just getting over a very nasty bout of bronchitis).

I figured, not literally, but figuratively (see how I used those big words in conjunction with each other?), I might as well live under a rock. My thinking here is, if you can’t beat them, you might as well join ’em. Now I know I have your curiosity going, because you are thinking, ‘who is she joining under a rock’, and ‘do I really care to I find out?’ Of course you care, because this email is in the interest of everyone! Really, I am not making this part up.

I am talking about germs folks, bacteria, tiny, dirty microisms (is that a word?), or something that sounds like that. You get my drift here, yucky stuff! What got me started about thinking about all of this, you ask? Well, I am glad you asked, well I think you would have probably have asked so I am going to tell you. When you are getting chemo (and some time afterwards the last treatment, about 100 days)you have to be careful about all kinds of yucky stuff, mostly other human beings. I mean it, anything and everything that might have something on it that you could catch and get really sick from. Because remember, chemo kills cancer, but it also kills good stuff, like hair, nails, white blood cells, you know stuff like that. So when you are on chemo (and after) you are very susceptible to getting sick, and germs, who probably aren’t your friends in the first place, become your #1 enemy. And I find out that we humans are very germy things! So I mean, I don’t know many people who live under a rock, so I figured I should go live under one until the threat passes (apparently there are less bacteria under a rock then say on……you or me!) Because frankly people, and I know this is probably going to come as a surprise(or not!) to many of you, sometimes I don’t think straight. Often times that isn’t a bad thing, but sometimes not so much and I even shock myself and hear myself say, “what were you thinking Michelle?” Any one of you have self-revelation moments like that, or is it only a once blond, over sixty, double menopause polish woman’s problem? I mean, help me here. I am feeling lonely out here in ‘stupid land’. At any rate, for those of you who are really, really honest and into self-disclosure (and it’s good for you, trust me, isn’t that what Facebook is all about, but in a grandiose, more positive way?), you can email me at http://www.iamallforbeingstupidonceinawhile.com and join my fan club. Trust me, you will feel better about yourself when you admit it! That is what all of those ‘support groups’ are for. I just have started a newer, differenter, more honester one, or something like that.

Anyway……here I was on chemo, which was fairly obvious because of my bald head and ball cap, and I decided to go visit a friend in…….you guessed it, the hospital! I know, it was brilliant, even if I have to say so myself. Oblivious to the obvious, I am walking through the hospital totally happy and fancy free of hair, (but apparently not germs), and then it dawns on me. There are a lot of sick people, with lots of germs on them, in a hospital! (Do you think?) It really became obvious when a patient was wheeled by me with one of those ‘throw-up’ containers on their laps! But I think it really hit home, as I searched for my friend’s hospital room, when all of the nurses, ‘stopped and dropped’ what they were doing, and with jaws open wide, mouthed the words I should have been saying to myself, which were, ‘what is this woman thinking?’ See it helps to have friends in all kinds of places, even if you don’t realize their your friends at the time. After about ten of these ‘is she stupid, or polish or both?’ looks, I thought, ‘may be I need to rethink this whole thing?’ Well, alas and alack, or something like that, it was too late, another friend spotted me and there was no running away. Of course, I did the only thing I could do at that point…….. Hummm, have you guessed it yet? I mean it is so obvious……..I took a shower/bath in Purell hand sanitizer the entire time I was walking out of the hospital. I did wait till I left my friend’s room, I didn’t want her to feel any worse than she already did. I mean hospitals make it very convenient for you to do this. They have one of those Purell hand cleaners stations every few feet, so I did what any rational person would do at that point. I hit every one of them between my friend’s room and the parking lot, and by the time I got to my car, I was awash in Purell hand sanitizer. Really, I am not making this stuff up, and feeling quite proud of myself, I might add, for coming up with such a clever solution, to a problem I had created. It’s not often those two things happen by the same person, think about it! And I smelled very nice too. It’s a different smell, but a good one nevertheless (like that?).

Having reached home with a sense of my own self-importance for meeting this problem head on so quickly, I turned on my computer to find out, thanks to that wonderful Internet, that we each have, I am seriously not making this up, look it up yourself, about a billion, yes, a billion germs/bacteria, just in our belly buttons alone! Can you believe that? Who would have thought? In our belly buttons! (Hey, now we know what use they have. They are condominiums for germs! What about those of us with ‘outies’? Are those cliff-hanging bacteria? I mean I’m just asking here.) Then I remembered something my plastic surgeon told me when I had that awful infection in my left fake boob, and apparently it was pretty awful, as I keep hearing from them how awful it was, that we each have more bacteria, germs, you know yucky stuff, on our bodies than there are people in the whole world! OMG! When I was in that hospital visiting my friend, I probably had so many yucky things on me anyway, there wasn’t any ‘room at the inn’ so to speak, for anymore. Who knew the bacteria I had was there ‘visiting’ the bacteria the hospital had? Hummm, what a waste of a few gallons of Purell hand sanitizer. Good thing I don’t have to reimburse the hospital for any of that stuff.

But seriously folks, this got me starting to think about our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Isn’t it wonderful how our Father God has made us so we always have a need for Him. Even in our stupid times, our thoughts go back to Him and even more wonderful, He is there waiting for us, no matter how stupid we have been? Can you imagine how yucky things were back in Jesus’ time? No plumbing, no sewers, no disinfectants, lots and lots of camels, who spit at you, you know? I mean He was born in a cave, among all of the animals. People were born, lived and some died at very, very old ages without one wall container of Purell hand sanitizer. God took care of His people back then, and He still continues to take care of His people now. He sent His son to heal back then and Jesus still heals today. I thought about being afraid to be in a hospital with all of those ‘germy, sick people’ to see a friend, when Jesus touched the untouchables, healed the beggars, comforted the unwanted, made the woman with the issue of blood well, and brought the dead back to life after four days, when He was told, “Surely Teacher, there will be an awful smell.” All of them full of ‘yucky, germy’ things. But then a particular story in scripture came to mind. The one when Jesus healed the blind man by spitting in the dirt, and rubbing the dirt, wet with His spit, on the man’s eyes. WOW! Lots of germy, yucky stuff in there. But Jesus took the yucky, the germy stuff, and sought out the untouchables and He touched them, made them human again. Even with the dirty, yucky stuff we humans shy away from, Jesus used it to heal. Amazing! Makes you look at ‘spitty dirt’ in a whole new way, and you realize, in the right hands, all things are made new.

Not only I am full of a billion bacteria, I am full of sin, selfishness and thoughts of the flesh, but God still loves me, loved me enough to send His only son, into a world full of such ‘yuck’. However, neither our heavenly Father or His precious Son gave those things a thought. Their only thoughts were of us, His children, to make us clean in every way. And clean again and again, because, you know, we humans we tend to get ‘yucky’ a lot. Amazing, truly, amazing.

I recently had my IV port taken out. It was done in the hospital and it took about thirty minutes and they don’t even put me out. I was really nervous beforehand as my breast surgeon’s PA said, “He just really numbs you up.” Hummm! I have learned through this medical challenge of mine, that few healthcare professionals have actually gone through the procedure you are about to, so they really have no idea how much it is going to hurt! Yea, you know I am right about this. Now that I have had the port out and the follow-up to have the site checked, I do not have to go back to the breast surgeon for six months. PTL, PTL, PTL and PTL again!

Let’s remember to keep praying for each other. Prayer works!

Much Love, Many Blessings and Shalom,
Germy, but clean in the eyes of My Lord!

Me and My Big Mouth

I probably don’t need to tell you all this, but I have a big mouth, well not a big mouth literally. I actually think I have a very small petite, rosebud sweet mouth, but I also think I only weigh 150 skinny pounds, and we all know that ain’t the truth! So you have to take some things I say in the context that I sometimes live in a ‘alternative state’, but you know I am not alone there. I have seen many faces I recognize when I am there visiting and you do know who you are! What I mean is I blabber too much. Wait, what? I don’t hear any disagreement on that one? Hey, what was that I heard someone whisper under their breath (Buddy!), ‘ain’t that the truth!” Well it is a good thing that my feelings don’t get hurt that easily, and I can muster on in spite of the grumblings. (And remember Buddy, I knew you when, when you were what…..17 and such a cutie pie, but as always I forgot where I was going with that.)

Here is what happened. As you all can vividly recall, my last installment in the continuing saga of laughing, commenting or complaining about breast cancer, I happened to mention a great idea I had concerning ‘chemo bags’ filled with goodies that cancer patients could take with them each time they went for a chemo treatment. I thought it was a ‘jam-up’ idea (in today’s vernacular, bad, bad, baby, bad!), but apparently no one who received my email agreed, as I did not receive tons of capital to get the venture going. Like not even a dollar or a penny. Of course the fact that I had no business plan, no particular goals written down, but just a fantastic idea, may have played a part in the reason I did not have financial backers knocking down my door.

I was feeling a little discouraged, as I really think it is a good idea. I mean think about it ladies, when we go to a baby shower (this is where the men can take a bathroom break), don’t you love it when someone buys a big bag or basket, and fills it to overflowing with all these neat, but useful items the new mother will need. You can just hear the ‘oohs and ahs’, as you read this! Well that is the idea I was working from. Hey, what is wrong with having a ‘chemo send off’ lunch or dinner, where adult beverages can be served in large amounts, as a patient not yet on chemo can drink, (and in some cases drink heavily just to get rid of the demons in your head telling you all kinds of stuff you just don’t ever, ever need to listen to, or least get the demons in there drunk so they fall over and pass out and you don’t have to deal with their negative chatter in your head until they sober-up and who knows how long that will take!) and then the chemo friend will be given this really neat bag filled with all of those great goodies, by all of her wonderful, thoughtful and sweet, sweet friends! (See how I am trying to sell this already?) I mean take it from someone who is just finishing that part of the journey, you need to have something to smile about when all of the ‘ c stuff’ hits the fan. Frankly from a patient’s prospective I know it would have put a smile on my face, as it did when my sweet cousin brought over a ‘chemo’ bag for me.

Anyway, where was I? Off track again I am sure. I mean I love this blogging as you can write, comment, write, comment, write, comment, you know the same thing I do with my mouth, but with my blog, you can just hit that ‘delete’ button and I am gone! Which is a lot easier than trying to put tape over my mouth or something like that, as people might look at you funny, even when you explain to them you have a very good excuse for your actions as I am a ‘gabber’. You might even get arrested, or have something thrown at you. Or asked to leave Wal-Mart, which honestly, as far as I am concerned, is the worse punishment, especially if you live on Jim Island.

OK, OK, let me pick-up where I left off. If you should happen to know where that was give me a quick call at 1-800-Where Was I? But be prepared, lines may be busy, because really when you reach a certain stage/age in your life, you ask yourself that question a heck a lot of times in may be…… in a hour’s time? I mean, really, right? OK, let me think. Heck did the lights just blink?

Now I know where I was, oh, that’s right, feeling discouraged. So when I went to the monthly meeting of SASSY (Roper’s Breast Cancer Survivor group), and since we all are, pretty darn sassy, it is appropriately titled. This month’s meeting was really neat! The meeting was held at the cancer boutique at the RSF cancer building. The store is called ‘The Healing Boutique”. This shop is full of such great things, not only for cancer patients, but if you are looking for some nice costume jewelry, shoes, and skin care, you can find something for yourself as well. The staff of The Healing Boutique wanted to give us breast cancer girls a night of pampering, so who could resist? I had my nails done, look great, a make-up, make-over, I looked glamorous, but passed on the hair make-over as I thought, you know I am particular about who works on my hair, then remembered I have no hair! How easily we forget. These services were donated by students from the beauty school there by Tanger Outlet. What a bunch of sweet, caring young girls. Thanks for making me feel I could look attractive again!

As I am walking out, I just happened, I mean, why?, why?, why?, to mention my idea about the chemo bags to the boutique’s manager and guess what all of you ‘boy I didn’t see that coming!’ people? She thought it was a fantastic idea and said she was going to look into. She also mentioned it certainly wouldn’t be a difficult product/service to get started. OK, OK, all of you ‘missed the boat’ people, I think the idea is gone…as I haven’t quite had the time to have it copyrighted or anything important like that.

So there it is. I hate to break the bad news to you. However, now that you have heard that someone who is not polish, did not use to be a blond, is younger than 60 and is in fact a brunette, thinks it is a great idea and this intel (cool, big important, business people use that word, so why not me?) should happen to change your mind, funds can be sent to the address below. In the meantime, as always the Holy Spirit puts Jesus or our Holy Father in my thoughts to help me put things in perspective. Remember when Jesus spoke in the temple in his home town of Nazareth? Oh boy, the citizens did not want to hear what Jesus had to say. Didn’t their remarks go something like this? “Who does this Jesus think He is? Isn’t He the son of Joseph and Mary? Wasn’t He just a carpenter’s son?” The people didn’t stop at running Jesus out of the temple; they chased Him to the edge of a cliff so that He may tumble over the edge to His death. Boy talk about a tough crowd! Jesus’ words went something like, “I tell you the truth, no prophet is accepted in his hometown.” Hey, that leaves me in pretty good company!

Creative and innovative thinking takes a lot of energy, so I am headed off to bed. Who knows what great ideas I will generate next? I don’t even know, as the ones I have had so far have taken me completely by surprise. It sure ain’t me. Yep, you are right, it is the Holy Spirit! I like what Dr. Phil said when I watched him being interviewed by T. D. Jakes on TBN one time. When Pastor Jakes asked Dr. Phil where he got his ideas and wisdom, I was surprised to hear his response. Dr. Phil said, he knew it wasn’t him, he was never that smart, and that he believed his wisdom, words and advice had to come from no one else but God. Dr. Phil went on to say he was sometimes surprised by the things he said, as he knew he wouldn’t have known to say something like that. Dr. Phil gave all credit to our dear heavenly Father! And that is exactly where it belongs!

Well I am getting over my recent bout with bronchitis. I actually lost my voice for two whole days, which I know shocks many of you to hear as you never thought that would be possible! See, prayers do get answered!

Much Love, Many Blessings and Shalom,
The Idea Lady!

Shame On You! Shame On You!

Well, you know who you are, and if you don’t I will remind you. You were the people in your cars at the stoplight at the intersection of Folly Road and the first entrance to The Crescent, coming out of the Staples/Earthfare South Windermere Shopping Center today. Remember now? It was about 2:00 Tuesday afternoon, the 19th and the rain was pouring down. I can’t get anymore specific than that, so you should recognize I am talking about you!

Did any of you notice the older man sitting in the rain, on the side of the road with a sign stating, “Will Work For Food.” Naw, I don’t think you noticed, or if you did notice you didn’t care, as you were in a rush to get to your fancy homes in The Crescent and out of the bad weather. Plus I am sure you thought there was good reason the man was in the predicament he was in, something he did wrong, didn’t do right. You decided he was totally to blame for his circumstances without even hearing his story. Yes, I know that is what you were thinking, because you were the ones who blew your horns at me, when I stopped, rolled down my window to give the gentlemen one of the last dollars I had. I am not being self-righteous here, I am just telling you like it is. I know all to well what it is like to live so, so close to the edge, as I am only a few small inches back from where that man sits at the edge of the abyss.

My father wasn’t an ordained minister, but his personal mission/ministry was always for the poor. Not for the poor in far away countries, though there are many poor people around the world. I am talking about the poor right in his own back yard. When my father was the manager of the mess Hall at The Citadel he was giving away excess food to those in need before any one thought it was cool and the good thing to do, not just the right thing to do. Daddy just did it because it needed to be done, and he never turned away anyone who knocked on the door. He didn’t ask if they smoked, drank, took drugs, or made bad decisions. He didn’t ask questions, because he knew, from the bottom of his heart, that ‘there but for the grace of God go I.” He remembers his family being put on the streets and losing everything when he was 14 years old, and never forgot what that felt like. His family lost their home, two butcher shops and a grocery store. Resources his parents worked long and hard for, but lost in The Great Depression. Not because they drank too much, did drugs, or laid around, expecting the government to take care of them. My paternal grandparents were immigrants from Poland, so grateful to be in this country, to have an opportunity to work hard and take care of their family, living in freedom. They did nothing explicitly wrong to lose so much. Unfortunately my grandparents died shortly after their eviction, within about six months of each other, both in their very early fifties. They left their children orphaned, my uncle the oldest was 17, my father next, was 14. Then four more younger, children my father and uncle needed to figure out how to take care of. My father never had the opportunity to graduate from high school as he needed to help raise his own brothers and his sister.

So the next time you feel like honking your horn at someone trying to help their fellow-man, I want you to stop thinking you have all of the answers, and prideful because your life is so much better. Isn’t that what Jesus said about the Pharisees and Sadducees? They were so proud of all they had, but had very little compassion or concern for people who weren’t at their social/economic level. The next time you are feeling so smug, you need to take a break, sit down, open your bible, go to the New Testament and read about the kind of people Jesus hung out with, whom he made His friends, who He cared so deeply about, and whom He also died for.

And never, ever forget, that life can turn on a dime. A drunken driver could come barreling down the road right at you, your spouse or one of your children. Your safe investments could disappear in a minute, or you or a family member could receive a dreaded medical diagnosis. You wouldn’t believe how expensive being ill can be. You can’t believe how much of your money you will need to spend to find that cure, that treatment that will make things all better. None of that comes cheap.

How much do you give to that stranger, that person who looks like they deserve to be exactly where he or she is? Look at what Jesus said to the rich young ruler when that man asked what did he need to do to get into the kingdom of heaven. Do you remember what Jesus told him to do? He told the young man to sell all of his possessions and give the money to the poor, and then come follow Him. Does God expect you/want you to give everything away? I don’t know. I have no idea. I believe if Jesus tells the young ruler to do this He must have thought it awfully important. God never thought about how much He gave us, at what cost, at what price, when He gave His only son to die on the cross for us, so we would have the shed blood of Jesus, His son, to save us.

Be so grateful for what you have. And do yourself a favor. The next time you see someone in need of help, take the time, give a dollar, given them five, just give them something to make their life just a little bit easier, a gesture to make them feel human again for just one minute in time.

Don’t wait till that dime starts turning in the wrong way in your direction.

Many Blessings and Shalom.

Need to Speak!

Hello Everyone,

I have to get some things off of my chest, well not my new ‘boobs’ please, I went through to much to get them! I’m afraid these comments may not sit well with those who may just happen to come upon my new blog, but still, I have to make some comments/give my opinion, and I would love some feedback, just be nice!

In July 2012 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mastectomy on 9-11-12. I started four rounds of chemo on 11-08-12! (These are the kind of dates you never forget!) I finished my last chemo on 1-17-13. That was a great day, let me tell you.

Unfortunately this diagnosis couldn’t have hit at a worse time for me, both for time of year and my finances. I wasn’t doing all that well financially before I received the diagnosis and things got worse afterwards, as after my surgery I didn’t work again until 1-9-13, and that is only for four hours a week. (Not everyone wants to hire a bald 61-year-old!) However I am very grateful for my job and love it, love it, love it!

I have had some wonderful friends and family that stepped up to the plate and really helped me out, especially during the Christmas season, as the holidays are not a fun time of year to have to deal with cancer. I can’t express my thanks enough or ever, for their help and concern. I am so, so grateful, but unfortunately, for most everyone, the new year is here, the holidays are over, and life must move on. For me, that is not the case. My health challenges have diminished, but not gone away, and my finances are no better than they were five months ago. I lived on $73 a week for the last four months of 2012, and that amount has only slightly increased since the first of the year.

I never, ever would want anyone to have to deal with what I have experienced in the last five months, and continue to experience, but one day it could very well happen to you. I have heard from others that have been in similar situations that when the crisis first happens everyone is ‘Johnny on the spot’, but as time goes on, their efforts go on as well, and you are still pretty much in the ‘spot’ where they left you. That is tough, especially for those of us who are a little bit on the older side, and have no spouse or partner to share this challenge with.

What bothers me the most is these people are good, nice, wonderful, God-loving, Christian people, but is it possible that we can be described this way, but still can turn blind eyes after a while? I know I probably did when the circumstances were on the other foot. If there is one thing having breast cancer has taught me, is the situation doesn’t stop with the cure. That is when the work really begins. Like the Christian song I am listening to right now….’there is somebody out there…… who needs your help in some way, and that someone turns into someone else, and some else, as the need doesn’t stop. The need gets forgotten, but it doesn’t stop!

I like what Andy Stanley (I am a huge fan, Hi Andy!) said in a sermon he gave right at the first of the year. I may not get this exactly right, so Andy jump in when you read this, but I did write one thing down that seemed to be the main theme of his talk. Andy was talking about giving and helping others. He basically said that so many Christians get so overwhelmed about the amount of need that is out there, they throw their hands up and don’t even try. He put forth what I thought was an outstanding idea. He said, “Do for one person what you would want to do for many.” WOW, what a powerful idea. I don’t think, but I could be wrong, that God is going to take a count of how many people we helped, but how did we help any one person. If He taught that the Shepard leaves the 99 sheep to go after just one, I think God doesn’t always takes into account any tally we may or may not be trying to reach. Is there just one person out there who could use your help right now, at this time, when it isn’t Christmas anymore? It is just a cold February day. Do we need to be in the season of giving to give?

I listen to Christian radio and I listen to all of the Christian political pundits and so many times I am so tempted to call in. They are always talking about how much the government is taking over everything, which causes more taxes, more spending, etc. And they extol that the churches need to step up to the plate, much like they did many years ago, when universities, hospitals, orphanages, so many social services and institutions were founded and funded by the church. Frankly, I just don’t see churches being able to do that, or more importantly willing to take on such a task. Have you tried to get help or have you gotten help from your church? I belong to a wonderful ministry, that has helped me tremendously, but I observe that is more the exception than the rule. I love what one of the pastors at my church said in a sermon one Sunday a few years ago. He said (and once again my apologies to the pastor), ‘if you are attending your small group one night and a fellow member says they were barely able to get there as they didn’t have money enough for gas.’ He said, ‘don’t just say, OK we’ll pray for you to get money for gas.’ He said, ‘Open your wallet and give the person $5.00 for some gas!’ WOW, that is what I am talking about. I know it can be done. I have a friend whose 26-year-old daughter is in a small group with people of the same age. Just starting out in their careers, just getting married, not a lot of disposable income. When their small group leader’s car broke down and she needed another, this small group of young adults raised over $6,000 so she could buy another car! Honestly, that should put anybody over the age of 35 to 40 and older, in a small group to shame! Hey there may be many small groups doing that kind of thing, but I haven’t heard of any but this group. The word needs to get out when something like this gets accomplished by a small group! God’s good news needs to be spread!

Well enough of my ranting and my comments. I just needed to get these thoughts expressed and take the feedback good or bad, if I should get any. These are just my thoughts, right or wrong. And remember it isn’t always about money, but in this economy, there are so many people who are hurting financially. You’d be surprised how much a small amount of money would be appreciated. And they haven’t been taking from the government all of their lives, which is the excuse I hear so many times, from so many people. A complaint they wear righteously on anything and say anytime they can. (Hey, ‘there but for the grace go I’ as my father taught me!) I worked a full-time job and one-part time job for about twenty years. Many of those years I was a single mother. Three years before I lost my full-time job in 12-08, I worked a full-time job and two part-time jobs. Since losing my job in 1208, I have been blessed to find part-time work a lot of the time. But underemployment is only slightly better than unemployment. Never before did I ask or receive help from the government and frankly don’t want it now, but who/where else can I go, and believe me, that isn’t an easy path to take, if no one else will step up to the plate. If you can obtain a copy of Andy’s sermon from that week, you would be well off to listen to it. I also want to ask the Christian political pundits, if only a small percentage of Christians tithe, I have heard the number, but it escapes me now, how do we expect these Christians and their churches to help in any great numbers if the government doesn’t anymore?

I want to finish this commentary with something I read in Mark Batterson’s addendum to his fantastic book, “The Circle Maker”. In the continuing story, in his book titled “Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge.” Mark quotes Peter Marshall, the former chaplain of the United States Senate:

“I wonder what would happen if we agreed to read one of the Gospels, until we came to a place that told us to do something, then went out to do it, and only after we had done it….began reading again?….

There are aspects of the Gospel that are puzzling and difficult to understand. But our problems are not centered around the things we don’t understand, but rather in the things we do understand, the things we could not possibly misunderstand.

This, after all, is but an illustration of the fact that our problem is not so much that we don’t know what we should do.

We know perfectly well….but we don’t want to do it.”

Thanks, Mark for writing a great book and for bringing to my attention those profound words of Peter Marshall.

Mark states that Peter Marshall is a hero of his and that Mr. Marshall believed in an action-oriented approach to Scripture. I have become a fan myself.

Cancer changes so much about your life, and if you choose to see as it a gift, which it can be, it can open your eyes to things you were blind to before. I believe that God will bring good out of my cancer experience, and I know it will some how involve serving others, as when it comes right down to it, that is all that really matters.

Don’t wait to get cancer to have your eyes open.

Shalom and Many Blessings

The Getting of Stuff

Hello My Dear Friends and Family,

If you are a grandparent you need to get a recent copy of the James Island paper and read the column “Life Unscripted” by Katie Wells. In her latest column she talks about inheriting a bunch of her grandmother Mimi’s ‘treasures’, stuff that her Mimi had accumulated over the years and had left to her granddaughter. Katie expressed in her column how much this stuff meant to her.

For a grandmother, also called Mimi, who also happens to have a lot of stuff, my heart was so warmed by this story. Not one to have a lot of money; read cash, stocks, bonds, property, I have often wondered what I would be able to leave my grandchildren. This became particularly important when I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. When that happens it gets you to thinking about a lot of things. All I have is all of this ‘stuff’, stuff I love and treasure; a huge collection of Christian books and cookbooks. Some great shoes, handbags, costume jewelry, dishes, pots and pans, just stuff. But Katie writes in her column, after she brought her Mimi’s stuff home, which included “tacky Christmas placemats”, “it’s not just stuff to me anymore. It’s a connection to my past. A way to remember a person I loved everyday.” I love what she wrote, “That is when I understood Mimi, my grandmother, lives on in my memory but also in her things.” My heart soared when I read that, hoping and praying, that one day, my precious grandchildren will feel that way about their Mimi’s stuff, and I will have blessed them in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

Thanks Katie!

Blessings,
A Mimi With Lots of Stuff Too!

Words To Live By!

“I once had a garden filled with flowers that grew on dark thoughts, but they needed constant attention and one day I decided I had better things to do.” Unknown

Spa Treatment…Complete with Chemo!

Hello My Dear Friends and Family,

This message is for both the oldsters, youngsters, and the in betweeners. My mind has been working a mile a minute with ideas and projects. And since you all know how smart us polish, over 60 gals are I know you are sitting on the edge of your seats, with your wallets open (I mean all good ideas and great projects require some infusion of cash, right? I mean right, right?) waiting to hear what the next best thing is that I have come up with. I know, I know it is exciting isn’t, it? No? Well just wait to you hear my great ideas, then you will be coming to me with all kinds of apologies for a lot of things you have been thinking about me ( you don’t think I know?), begging when can we get started on these new best, great ideas of mine. Of course I plan to copyright and patent everything.

My first idea started to germinate (once again, I know how to use big words, so that should tell you something about my mental prowess -there’s another one, they just keep popping up everywhere. It is amazing what happens when you are smart, or well you think you are smart!), when my dear cousin Nancy, otherwise known as Bouy delivered this really neat bag of stuff to me to take to my first chemo session. (Thanks again Nanc!). It had so many cool and nice items in there; a blanket, a prayer figurine, ice packs, more about that later, a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful cancer bracelet, that I just love, love. As my daddy use to say, “Michelle, plant a seed, plant a seed.” When I got pass the thought that he didn’t mean I should actually go plant a garden, I realized he was talking about ideas, opportunities, neat stuff like that. So, without knowing it or ever hearing my dad say that, my cousin planted a seed in my head that day! As you have seen that can be a very dangerous thing to do to a crazy pollack like me. So, based on what I heard a patient might experience during chemo, I added to that neat bag (which was a breast cancer tote with the words, “Fight like a girl!”, love it ,love it) that I took to each chemo treatment. I decided if I was going to have to go through the chemo I might as well make the best of it. So I added things like; lip balm for that dry mouth and lips, hand lotion for that dry, dry skin, slippers so I could spend four hours in comfort, books to read, CDs to listen to, of course a portable CD player ( I mean iPod, what is an iPod, some kind of weird vegetation, planted by aliens?), a pillow, to name just a few. And of course as the two people who went with me to my chemo treatments, my dear friend Sue and my dear cousin Pam, can attest, the one bag turned into two bags, than three! I mean they were there to keep me company, but since I slept a lot of the time, it was like they were more like porters, but nevertheless, I was grateful to have them there with me. And you know it worked. Something I came to dread, also made me think about stupid things I could look forward to like what lip balm to use, the great hand lotion I would put on, and what CD I would listen to. (Guys stay with me on this one, as I know you are thinking, what????? So sad the men can’t take advantage of this great idea!) I made sure I didn’t use any of the goodies in my bag except at chemo time. So it became turning a bad situation into an alright one, as there isn’t much to look forward to when you are dealing with something like cancer and chemo. Then I read the story in the New Testament, the one where the four guys who had a friend who was paralyzed and laying on mat, couldn’t get their friend to Jesus for healing because the house where Jesus was teaching at was packed. So they made a bad situation better. The four friends took their friend to the roof of the house (I think house roofs were easier to get to back in those days), dug a hole in the roof (kind of like what the people did during Hurricane Katrina, but in the opposite direction) and lowered their friend down on the mat to right in front of Jesus! WOW, talk about making a bad situation better, that sure was it. I mean, can you imagine the look on everyone’s faces when that happened, especially the Pharisees. Of course Jesus knew what was coming, as He always does, and cured the man. I felt that was a confirmation of my idea, which is……drum roll…….putting bags together, and offering the bags full of goodies to female chemo patients (well I guess we could think of something for the men!) and have them in the oncologist’s office. I mean I can tell you from experience, you aren’t thinking much about good things when facing chemo after a diagnosis of cancer. But just think how this might help someone have something to smile about as those toxic chemo drugs drip, drip, drip into their bodies. I think there are other good stuff you could add to the bag, but definitely think this is an idea whose time has come. In fact, since there are at two hospital cancer boutiques that I know of in town, the bags could be offered there for sale, so a friend can buy one and give to someone facing chemo! (Wouldn’t believe how many companies have come up with products soley for cancer patients!) Huh, what do you think? Brilliant if I have to say so myself. Since you agree with me, this is where the infusion of capital comes in, otherwise known as money. Of course the split would be 20/80, 80 for me, 20 for the venture capitalists, as I may be polish but I am not stupid! Please send money to the address below.

Now for you super seniors. Here is an idea just for us. Since anyone over 60 can take classes at a state college or university here in South Carolina for free (why do you think I am attending, its free baby, its free! Well you have to buy the text book, but like every student knows, young or old, you never buy the textbook, you wing it!), I think a bunch of us ‘super’ seniors need to register, take a class and offer UP our hip ideas, fashion styles and advice to all of these young people WHO DO NOT HAVE A CLUE WHAT IS COMING UP, WHAT TO EXPECT, OR WHAT TO WEAR! I mean this is our time to shine as when we were in college at that age, we too, had no idea what we were doing, or what we could expect. Now we can go to college again, but now have some idea of what we are doing, well maybe, sometimes, occasionally, but at any rate, better than these youngsters! It will be our time to bring back madras, penny loafers, pants with belts, the peace sign (one of my personal favorites, which just so you know, I personally started the movement to bring it back a couple of years ago, and I must say it is working!), learning how to communicate face-to-face, without an electronic device, the art of ‘going steady’, how to wear your ‘squeeze’s class ring on a chain around your neck, and so much more. We could open an office on campus, called something like “The parents you will listen to because they aren’t your real parents, just the same age”, or something like that, the name obviously needs working on, and charge for our advice, feedback, and just general coolness. (Frankly I think we could get their parents to pay us through some system of ‘here is what I need you to impress upon them’ communication system or something like that. I have not quite thought that part out as you can see.) I mean I look around at the students in the class I am taking, and they just don’t look as happy as we did at that age, but they still have the ‘angst’ we did. Hey, its about time we benefited from our smartness, our coolness and whatever wisdom we have culminated since we were that age and stage in life. Besides, I think this generation, despite all of their electronic devices and the Internet, have some tough roads ahead of them. And remember Super Seniors, these people will be voting on legislation for programs we will need the older we get. We have got to keep them on our good side! And on the serious side, we need to make ‘streams in the desert’ as the bible states. As the patriarchs did in the Old Testament, we need to pass on our blessings to the next generation!

Well I am fresh out of ideas and commentary (another one!), so I will give you time to think, mull these ideas over, and get back to me as soon as you can to let me know how brilliant I am, or something close to that, as beggars cannot be choosers. You know the smart/wise stuff/sayings your mom and dad passed on to you, but you actually listened to because you weren’t on the Internet, or plugged into your smart phone with ear buds. And since our parents didn’t have the advantage of the Internet when raising us, and never did we when we were raising our children, and all seem to turn out pretty darn well, may be we can show the next generation that actually living life and learning from it, is better than looking it up on the Internet. I mean, I am just thinking……….

Much Love, Many Blessings and Shalom,
Your Favorite Love Child! Peace Baby!